ep 15: the ego and emotions - how powerful leaders embrace and explore their emotions to allow them to show up fully
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[00:00:00] I have just came back from my bachelorette party. And we just got to the east coast. We're currently in South Carolina. We traveled from Washington state Tacoma, Washington. Across the country stopped a few places. Definitely want to give you guys an update on that, but we are now in South Carolina, we're staying with my parents for a month. And then we move into our new place. Also in upstate South Carolina. But we'll have our own space. The dogs will be hanging out with us.
And I will only be 15 minutes from one of my childhood best friends. But in this move. There's been a lot happening in the world in The Southeast. We just had the hurricane. And in the process of moving, we had to divert our trip because we were going to go through Asheville. Which is about an hour north of my parents. And our wedding venue was also destroyed. [00:01:00] So I've had a lot of emotions because not only was I tired from traveling right. But on the road for 10 days. Not having a place of our own. And right.
I understand that. This was something we agreed to. This is a choice that we made. I recognize that. So I want to prep this episode with. That this episode is intended to. Allow us to explore. The variety of emotions that come along when things are heavy. , I'm not going to spend this episode, proving that I have a right to feel this way. Did I have a right to be sad. Because my emotions are valid just as they are. And I don't need to prove that they have a space here. Because so many people feel they have to justify. Their emotions. And in that they begin to intellectualize them instead of just feeling them. [00:02:00] And that is where we see so many issues.
We see so much blame. And anger at other people because we don't feel like we can have the emotions that we need to have.
Welcome to rise to her podcast, where we explore the journey of women, rising to the highest version of themselves and embracing a life of ease and alignment. I'm your host, Emily Greenway, a certified mindfulness and life coach with a background in public health. Over the past six years, I've worked with women from all walks of life to help them overcome their limiting beliefs, heal their past and step into a powerful healed version of themselves.
No matter what cards life has dealt you, there is a way to take back control and I'm here to teach you how in this podcast, we'll dive into the art and science of creating a life filled with ease and joy. Join me as we explore practical strategies to rise above mere survival and truly flourish in each episode.
We'll [00:03:00] delve deep into the intersection of science and personal experience, uncovering insights to elevate your mindset. And harness the power of your brain from overcoming challenges to unlocking your full potential rise to her podcast as your guide to co creating a life business and career that brings true fulfillment.
So whether you're looking to thrive in your career, relationships, or personal growth journey, you're in the right place. Get ready to embark on a transformational exploration as we navigate the path to rising to her highest self. Let's go. So this episode is about emotions, how the ego began to show up for me. And ultimately it led me to having an absolute breakdown at my bachelorette party. Because I had pushed out my emotions.
I had kept saying I don't need to feel this way because everyone has it worse, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But that is not. What emotions are there for? You cannot rationalize with emotions. When we continue to try to rationalize with [00:04:00] them, we push them down. We invalidate them and then they become stronger. They become more potent. Because we're not allowing them to flow.
And when we do not allow them to flow, they begin to be stored. And in our bodies. Our energy start to block up. Our body starts to physically hurt. And then we begin to react in ways that damages relationships. That hurts other people. Because in the midst of. The heartbreak that was hurricane Helene. The things I saw on social media. We're devastating. Not just the videos of what was happening, because I chose not to look at those anymore because. It was causing me personal pain.
And there are so many people that are like you need to see it because it's happening. Yes. But when I look at something. I don't need to cause myself to suffer. In [00:05:00] order to help other people. Where can I help? How can I give my money? How can I get my time? How can I provide space for community to heal and feel. Because that is what I'm convicted to do. But this whole. You need to suffer because other people are suffering. I'm tired of it. I refuse. To allow that to be my reality.
And I encourage you. To refuse to let it to be yours because your suffering does not benefit the world. Instead, it actually lowers the vibration. When we make ourselves suffer because other people are struggling.
This is more about letting. Our emotions flow.
Telling our ego to sit to the side.
So that we can just process what we're feeling. And that there's validity and just that.
I noticed that I was rejecting these emotions one because I had [00:06:00] shame and blame because other people were. Going through more than I was. But it was also. How emotions. They hit me really freaking inconvenient.
Something to be pushed aside because if we feel them, we feel like it's going to ruin our day or it's going to ruin what we believe should be. Special. So we pushed them aside. I say I need to. I need to just be happy because if I'm sad or if I'm grieving, it is going to ruin the moment.
And that is conditioned into us from society. Because society has told us that emotions are inconvenient, especially for women. If you feel. Emotions. You're not a good leader. You're not. Going to be a good boss. You're not going to. Be able to be in the workforce. Because you're looked at as weak. Crazy. Emotional. But you see this. [00:07:00] Need to push things aside. Has so many ripple effects. That we're not even noticing. And it's ruining relationships is ruining our health. Because emotions just need to be felt just like joy and happiness. You wouldn't say, oh, I need to push this aside.
Because other people are suffering.
Although I do hear people do that. But I'm going to encourage you to reject that as well. But when we continue. To suppress them. To try to move past.
They will make themselves known. In ways that are going to be incredibly inconvenient for you. More so than if we just let them be felt. I was in the shower. As all good thoughts come in the shower. And my intuition literally spoke to me and was like, Emily, just let yourself feel it. Quit trying. To intellectualize or negotiate. With an emotion that just wants to be seen. That just wants [00:08:00] to be felt.
How many of you. Or finding yourself, trying to negotiate, rationalize. Or intellectualize and emotion. So that you don't have to fill it.
And when we do that, we do have consequences.
Grief anger, joy, excitement. These all tell a story and they are all met. To allow us to release and move forward. And when we continue to push them aside because the ego says you're not going to be a good leader. You don't have a right to feel sad. You don't have a right to feel happy because other people are suffering.
That does nothing for the world. And I want you to hear me when I say that the world will benefit because you are raising your vibration. The world will heal because you are healing. It has so many people suffering right now and you suffering. You making yourself suffering suffer because you feel bad. You feel [00:09:00] guilty?
Doesn't do anything for the world. What does help is when you show up. Maybe you're investing in communities that need the monetary support. But just making yourself suffer, guilting yourself, shaming yourself for feeling joy or wanting to have something. That does not benefit. Anything.
If you're a highly ambitious woman, you already know the effort and discipline it takes to achieve your goals. Unfortunately though, most exhausted high achievers make the costly mistake of only defining success within the masculine energy realm and never defining their personal values when it comes to the success in life that they want.
But without connecting to your intuition, without defining what your soul needs, you'll waste your entire life achieving Plenty of external goals and metrics of success while getting burnt out, unfulfilled, and feeling [00:10:00] isolated and used. And I do not want to continue to see women struggle creating a life that doesn't light them up because they have created their blueprint for success based on other people's opinions.
And that is why I created my brand new program, Aligned Ambition, for the highly ambitious women who are ready to go beyond what other people think about them and create a life that truly lights them up from the inside out. So if you've been questioning if your career, if your current stage in life is really all that is meant for you, and you have been looking for that thing to confirm.
If you should take the next step or what your step should even be, this is for you. I cannot wait to have you inside. I have a priority list created just for you to find out the information when it launches next. [00:11:00] So go ahead to the show notes and make sure to get on there. So you have first insight of when the doors open because seats go fast.
And I cannot wait to have you in the second launch of Aligned Ambition. It's going to be good.
Let's talk about the belief that strong women. Don't feel emotions or that emotions make us weak. So we're taught from childhood. That controlling our emotions. Makes us strong. You're too emotional. Don't cry. I'll give you something to cry about. We're taught to suppress what we're feeling in the moment. And so then we began to become confused of. What's what can I feel? What's the right thing to feel.
How many of you have caught yourself asking that? What is the right. Thing to feel.
And the answer. It's whatever [00:12:00] you're experiencing.
We have a habit of trying to label. Judge, we're continuing to interpret what we're feeling. Without allowing it to express itself first.
And that causes a lot of pain. That causes a lot of frustration, guilt.
And it will lead you. To burn out in ways you cannot believe.
Because emotions do not have to be your reality, but they do need to be felt. And if you do not allow them to be felt because you were scared to be seen as weak. Or selfish. We're unfit as a leader. There will be a time that they make themselves known and it's not going to be convenient for you at all. And so by embracing.
That strong limit actually provide opportunity. They cultivate. Presence of allowing their emotions to be felt to somatically release them. In ways that are healthy. That are beneficial [00:13:00] for their relationships. That's when we start to feel like we have more control.
I want you to ask yourself, is there ever been a time that you just snapped at someone that you care about?
Whether it's your partner. A colleague. Maybe some of your team that reports to you or your child. And you just snap at them. And you're like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. It wasn't you right. But that is a great indication that there were emotions. There were feelings, there were things that need to be felt that we pushed down. Because maybe it was inconvenient at the time. And when you begin to acknowledge that strong women. Have a healthy connection with their emotions.
That. Sense of feeling out of control. Begins to diminish. Because you allow them the opportunity to flow. In a way that's safe. In a way that allows them to process in a timely manner.
Women who fully embrace their emotions without shame without judgment. [00:14:00] You will be able to create deeper connections because you one understand yourself. Better. You have more of a clear head so that you can show up in the times that are breaking your heart. You can show up and say, I am feeling this. I am grieving.
I am in this with you. And I'm showing up for you.
You feel more aligned because you're not cutting off parts of your soul.
Being successful, being a leader, being powerful will require you. To connect to your soul.
Burning out. It's not going to do anyone. Any good. And you begin to teach. Your kids, other women, the power of authenticity. And those emotions that you thought were so convenient. Begin to flow in natural ways. They begin to express themselves. In ways that don't feel so dang overwhelming. And don't get me wrong. There will be times. That those emotions do feel like too much. Because we don't know how to process them. That's why it's [00:15:00] so important. To go ahead and cultivate connections with coaches. With other women with groups that allow you to express the. Talk about them.
Fill them out. Somatically. With your words, scream, cry.
Shame and guilt. In rejection have no place. When it comes to emotions.
They don't have a place here. Because it doesn't benefit anyone. Your emotions are valid.
So I want to go over the five steps to emotional freedom. If you have been feeling. So overwhelmed. So inconvenienced. Heartbroken. Whatever it is angry. These are the five steps I want you to reflect on, write them down. And began to explore them. Number one is acknowledge. The emotion without judgment. If you're saying Emily, I don't know how to acknowledge the emotion without judgment.
That I'm going to put a link. In the show notes. And it is the community healing [00:16:00] circle that I held for anyone feeling those big emotions after the hurricane, after all of the loss has been going on in the world and in Southeast. And we went through some really beautiful. Breath, work meditation and somatic exercises.
And this is going to allow you to begin to acknowledge what emotions are there. This is a really beautiful way to connect with the body. Too. Reject. The EEO. Because our eco was trying to protect me really big time, trying to protect me. So you can look in the show notes for that. So number one, acknowledge the emotion without judgment. Just let it be. Just let it be. Number two is fill it fully. I feel it in your body. Allow it to be present, allow it to say what it needs to say. Like a toddler or child that it's asking you. Mom, my mom, dad. And whoever you are, they're constantly saying, Hey, I need to ask you something.
I need to ask you something. They're not going to stop until either they [00:17:00] get the answer. They're looking for. They throw a tantrum. Maybe they start crying. Or they just shut off completely. And that's when the disconnection occurs. So you need to allow it to fully be present. In your body. And knowing by allowing it to be present doesn't mean it's going to stay there forever. I've heard that from a lot of clients where they're like I don't want to feel like this forever.
I'm like, babe, this is the number one way to not feel like that forever. We're just allowing it to be. Number three, releasing it in a healthy way.
Like we talked about earlier. These emotions will make themselves known. It just. Could be in a way that will damage your relationships. Her other people. And so when we release it in healthy ways through journaling, Through coaching through somatic exercises through breath work, we allow them to be fully felt and released. Without the guilt and consequences that can come along whim, we continue to disconnect or push it down. And number four, I'm sorry.
I said five steps. Forceps. Number four [00:18:00] reflect. On what it taught you. Ah, what did it need me to know? Was there a story laying there, a belief maybe that. I was. Perpetuating that caused this feeling to be there. You say you are not responsible. For other people's feelings, but you are responsible for how you treat people and how you react.
So reflect on what it taught you. So you can begin to shift it so that these emotions don't feel so damn overwhelming all the time. Because when the story is heard, we can begin to knit. Identify it more quickly. We can make it to acknowledge it, transform it more quickly. Instead of it feeling like so much of a burden. So I'm going to go over the forceps again for embracing emotions and getting to that emotional freedom.
Number one. And knowledge the emotions without judgment. Number two, fill it fully. Let it be present. Number three, release it in a healthy way. Journaling movement, coaching breath, work, [00:19:00] meditation exercise. Go punch something that needs to be practiced, like a punching bag or a pillow. Scream. Number four reflect on what it taught you.
Because. We are in a paradigm shift.
Where we are going to be required to feel the things because ignoring it. Pushing it down liquid it's causing. The earth to endure and the people of the earth. People are hurting people. People are destroying the planet. People are broken. Because we've spent so many years, decades.
Ignoring and pushing down our emotions because we needed to produce. It's not benefiting anyone.
Women. Who embraced their emotions. Are the new leaders of this paradigm shift. Are the ones that will be looked at to guide. Because when you embrace your emotions, [00:20:00] You are only going to be strengthened with the connection of yourself. Be able to show up more fully as a leader. As someone that people want to connect with.
There are long-term effects. Of ignoring emotions, burnout, physical pain, disconnection from self.
And I'm telling you. The power of just letting my emotions be after I fought them so long for the last two weeks, just blaming shaming. Gilding myself for feeling that way. When I just let it be.
The power Canada dissipate. I just let myself feel it.
What are you resisting right now? Are you blaming other people for having emotions?
Are you projecting? On the other people, because you don't feel. Like you have a right to feel the emotions that you're experiencing.
We allow ourselves to feel when we tell the ego to step aside. [00:21:00]
To just fully embrace and be present. The power. The inconvenience, overwhelming feeling begins to dissipate.
'cause we just let it be, let it flow. Let it move through. Which will allow us to have more alignment and more fulfillment.
I want you to begin to reflect on your own emotional patterns that you're currently having.
And I want you to challenge your ego's narrative. What voice is coming up. What is your ego trying to protect you from. What emotions have you been avoiding lately? I challenge you to sit with it today. Notice how it feels. And how your power grows, how yourself power grows when you allow it to just move through.
Strong women. Feel their emotions fully. And when women heal. The world heals. There is power. And the [00:22:00] connection to self. And there's no more need. We're rejecting, pushing down or shaming ourselves. We can not show up fully for others. If we're not showing up fully for ourselves. I love you. I can not wait to see you next week. I remember to go check out my gift to you, a the free healing circle and ceremony that I have in the show notes, and just go in there and get access to that.
It's about 45 minutes journaling, meditation, somatic movement. It is super powerful. Just while I was guiding. Tears came through my eyes. And then finally I have. My brand new live training grind, culture revolution. For the women who still want to be wildly successful without burning out. I'm going to teach you how I did it. I'm going to teach you how other women that I've coached have done it.
Inside of this week long training, we are going to do all kinds of incredible mind, body exercising. I exercises [00:23:00] healing practices. You were going to walk away knowing the next step that you need. To shift your career. To shift your business so that you can not only increase your revenue, increase your energy, but increase yourself.
Love. When women heal the world heals, you can get the link to that in the show notes as well.
And you can find that [email protected] backslash the grind culture rebellion challenge. Riser her.com backslash the grind culture rebellion challenge. You can get that for free. And there's going to be a week long training starting in November, but you want to go ahead and get access. We're going to have a Facebook group. There's going to be so many incredible offerings.
I'm going to teach you everything I've learned in my past 10 years of rejecting Haas hustle culture. And still doubling my income. Making more money than I ever thought. And I still have so much more to go. And man. I'm [00:24:00] really freaking filled with joy. And I want that for you too. You can get [email protected] back slash the grind culture rebellion challenge. It's also in the show notes. All right, I'll see you next time.
Bye.
Thank you for joining me on this episode of rise to her podcast, where we're dedicated to empowering women to embrace their highest selves and live a life of ease and alignment. If you enjoyed today's episode and want to continue this journey with me, make sure to give me a follow on Instagram at rise to her or on YouTube at rise to her.
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